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[04 Oct 2004|10:52am] |
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I think I'm ok now, I haven't cut in a few days, and I've decided to go continue seeing the psychologist, so hopefully I'll be able to stop soon. I'm still trying.
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| no man vagabond; call me what you will |
[04 Oct 2004|05:54pm] |
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music |
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metallica + anywhere i roam |
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Just a few questions and thoughts. If this lights you up and pisses you off, good. If it makes you want to talk and view things more openly, great.
What exactly is the point of joining a community where people post triggering pictures of themsevles cutting? B/C I joined this community mainly to ask this question I haven't checked it all that thoroughly and I'm not necissarily talking about this place. I know there are webcommunities out there dedicated to SI pictures and showing them off to others. If looking at pictures of people shedding blood makes you want to shed your own why look?
I understand the feeling cutting provides perfectly. I am a cutter and am working to stop. I've done what I think is a pretty decent job so far. I also understand how talking to someone else about your problems makes them seem to be a bit less and a weight lifts off your shoulders when you can say something without people asking you what you mean. Has there ever been a point for you when you've just thought "Fuck this. It's not worth it!" or decided that wallowing in self-pity and shame isn't what you should be doing, that getting over your problems and helping others is more important?
Also, why do people who SI, people who have their own pain, those who more than likely have been the victim of bullying and abuse, gang up on others? On the internet, in real life in front of others. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they're wrong. Everyone has their pain. Everyone has their issues that feel larger than life. I've seen people who SI gang up on someone of a different social class for asking a simple question or respectfully asking them to pull their sleeves down a bit farther. Why? What's the point? Why not treat them with the respect you want? You wont get any if you don't give anything. I know it works both ways, but why not try and put your best foot forward and just be decent?
I've seen cutters talk behind others backs, too. "She just cuts for attention. She's not really feeling any pain." I'm not accusing anyone in this community, but why in the hell would you say that? You have pain. You cut! You have things you feel consume you and eat you alive. Do you believe you're the only one with that problem, that the duty to die a martyr is yours alone?
... Sigh. I'm getting repetitive and I apologize for that. But the things I've talked about have been on my mind for awhile and I wanted to get them out. Thanks for listening. Please comment, I'd enjoy hearing feedback on the matter.
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